Can't Win Them All

Oh, how quickly life goes. How many, many things may happen within a year. Looking back to where I was a year ago, when I wrote my last entry, to where I am now.

So what has happened?

When I started my blog, I was unemployed, having to to just come back from a romantic, wander-lusty-road-trip internship of a lifetime. I was back in NY, learning how to settle down my own roots to the foundation that was already set for me. As the fortune teller in Hong Kong told me- I was a "sailor who is traveling the seas with a compass that's lost."

And now, I have my first big girl, super corporate, full time job. In addition to my full time, I have another part time. My working hours equal to someone working in Investment Banking- only I don't have an Investment Banking income. I am learning how to balance it all- work, family, friends, boyfriend. So I have finally found my compass, but now I'm figuring out how it works. I have declared it is time to shift focus on my passions- finding things that I love to do. Because there's no worse thing in the world than wasted time.

Yes, I'm picking up writing again, like picking up my favorite book from my dusty bookshelf that has been neglected for too long. Thirsty and excited to reread the book and experience it all over, with a new perspective. And thank you to my friend, Yafit, who gave me a call to remind me of my little gem. I apologize for falling off the face of the Internet. Thank you for supporting me, being patient, and not giving up on me.

I'm returning with Leila. I met her in Brooklyn. 

It was beautiful sunny, summer Sunday afternoon. My phone was at 20% battery life. I decided to turn off my cellular data in hopes of saving my battery, so I may call my boyfriend once I was close by. I was feeling spontaneous. I do not know Brooklyn and have limited knowledge with directions. With my romantic self, I thought... 'Let's do this the old school way. I shall ask for directions!'

Worst decision all day.

I ended up walking the complete opposite direction. About halfway in, my gut was telling me to turn around. But instead, my giddy romantic self skipped down the grey concrete floors, surrounded by vintage brown stone buildings, far away from my destination. Once I started to see the sketchy automobile shops, I decided it was time to ask for guidance.

It was deserted and I was left with two choices. First was a lady struggling with her two polar bear dogs. But she didn't even make eye contact with me and hurried off with her bears dragging her. So I was left with Leila. She was wearing a large brown hoodie and faded boot jeans. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, the sides of her hair was grey. Her eyes were dull and worn. A black plastic bag and cane dangled from her hands as she leaned her heavy set body on the blue pole that was part of the scaffolding.

I took a deep breath and asked, "Excuse me ma'am, do you know-"

She cut me off with her finger. Looking straight ahead, she said, "Shut the fuck up and don't talk to me..."

"Um... okay-"

A light bulb went off and she added with attitude, "...oh and two- get the fuck out of my neighborhood."

Talk about making someone feel welcomed! Shocked, I quickly walked away with a sour taste in my mouth. And when I told my boyfriend and his friends what happened later that day, they were just as shocked as I was. But instead of moping around about it all day and letting it ruin my day, they were awesome and poked fun about it the entire day. My perception of the awkward interaction shifted- it was now hilarious. And it has now become one of our inside jokes.

So, no, you can't win them all. You can't get it all the time. And that's okay. Moments like these remind me of the quote- "Life is 10% situation and 90% reaction." And we are constantly choosing how to react to things that come our way. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are. I challenge you to become aware now.

So... what are you choosing?